Hey Inkbots,
Its been a little over a week since my last post which is like a cardinal sin in the world of blogging. I apologize for the delay but my wife and I have been working feverishly on some Inkbot film related stuff, so my time was split between that and writing scripts. Still, there's no use in crying over spilled mango juice, so as promised, here are some embarrassing stories about ME ;)
Double dipping: When approaching me at a convention or on the street, its best not to have anything of value in your hands because chances are I will trip over something and break it. Yes, I am that clumsy ladies and germs. "How clumsy" an unimaginative television audience might be tempted to ask. Well, I once entered a fun house at a carnival and left with a broken nose, glasses, and a bruised face. Oh no wait, it gets better. I also once walked into a parking meter and fell inside the bath tub ON THE SAME DAY! Yup,needless to say, my clumsiness has created some "fond" memories over the years, but still I think none is as memorable as my little sister's birthday party (she was five at the time).
My little sister's birthday was held at a local park, just a few blocks from my father's house. "The girl of my dreams" who looking back makes me question my sanity as a pre-teen, was going to be there, so my outfit was a bit more stylish than usual (which for kids in the hood meant that I did NOT have a beer company's logo on my t-shirt). Anyway, once we entered the park, my brothers and I came in contact with a dried up stream, or like my brother liked to called it "the park's muddy butt crack" (hey, we were like twelve). We needed to cross it in order to reach the party in time, so everyone just hopped over the mud stream, well, everyone except "I". Yup, as can be expected, I fell face first into the mud...but wait...THAT'S NOT THE EMBARRASSING PART. Yup, aside from the wave of laughter that soon followed my 10 point belly flop into the park's muddy crevice, the real fun began after I returned to park with a change of clothes. So, did I fall once again when attempting to cross the mud stream of doom for a second time? No, Instead, it happened while chasing "the girl of my dreams." That's right, one minute I'm chasing her around the park, the next minute I trip over her foot and knock both of us into the muddy stream...CLASSIC!
Another one Mr. Chris
Can't make the Olympics: Some of my greatest memories growing up were with my cousin Jean. And most of those memories included doing something that we probably shouldn't have. Now before I continue, I have to let you know that as I kid I was extremely overweight. "HOW OVERWEIGHT," says the annoying tv audience once agian. Well, I once ate a White Castle crave case (28 hamburger sliders) by myself ( I wish I was exaggerating). So, when I say that I was overweight, trust me, I was fat. Anyway, my less than stellar physique, like my aforementioned clumsiness, created some pretty hilarious moments, and this is just one out of a hundred.
Roof hopping, yup, that is what poor kids with nothing to do did during summer afternoons. They climbed up on the roofs of unsuspecting suburban households and leaped from one house to another (they were only a few feet apart at most). Well, all poor kids except me. You see aside from being overweight I was also terribly afraid of heights. So nothing, I was convinced, would ever put me on the roof of a house, nothing except my unexplainable need to prove myself to my cousin (something he never asked of me to do, by the way). So, with my brain in my pocket and my heart near my neither regions I climbed up a house and attempted my first roof hop ( now how the hell I managed to climb up a house is anyone's guess).
"Don't worry, I got you," was the words uttered from my fearless cousin, who was waiting on the other side of the leap. "Just run, jump, and don't look down." Okay, I thought. I can do this. I took a deep breath, rubbed my hands, and did every warm up cliche in the book before running towards the edge of the roof, jumping, and almost making it untill someone screamed "Hey, what the hell are you kids doing up there," which temporarily distracted my cousin enough for him to forget to help me up from the ledge. So, did I fall? Of course I did. Well, that's not very surprising. I know its not, but what is, is the fact that I landed on a dog house with a sleeping guard dog in it! ;) So, how the hell did I get out of that? My cousin. Yeah right. I know, this is going to sound ridiculous but I swear, by cousin jumped down, helped me up, hurried me out of the yard, and PUNCHED THE DOG IN THE FACE all within a matter of minutes. So, what the hell is this cousin of yours doing today...he's in the military (a hand to a glove).
Well, that wraps up this weekly installment of embarrassing stories, but join me tomorrow for another exciting blog. Peace out Inkbots! ;P
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